There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
