remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
