So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
