I look better un-naked...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
