I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
