Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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