He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
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Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
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who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize