Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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