I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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