my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
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i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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