I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
