why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
try to milk me bitch
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