I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
