dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
