I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
