I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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