Cold hands, warm shart.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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