also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
