Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
