Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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