Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
