have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
