I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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