Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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