omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
