pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just had sex on a roof
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
