I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
