I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
