garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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