Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
