Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
