Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
