your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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