you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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