We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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