It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize