we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
