i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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