The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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