Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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