i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
