don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
