ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
