Can Purell be used as lube?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
