organizing the empties. That sober.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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