He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize