I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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