I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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