oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
