wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
