Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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