You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
