im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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