Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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