Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
