That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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