woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
