Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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