This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
