He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
