I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
